i am half way through a painting doodle that i might actally like
that i look at an can see
me
my past
something that reminds
me of safety
an happiness

reminds me of my grandparents

an as i look at it
i see the flower pattern that i have doodled for years
but this doodle painting is
a response or copy
of a pattern on my grandparents
kitchen ware
an now as i sit here an look at it

i think
maybe thats why i draw/doodle flowers the way i do
coz deep in my mind
thats the way i saw them
they made me feel safe
an happy

i must have looked at them so much growing up
without really thinking about it

we are influenced by so much
around us
without realising

its like
at college
we went to see the tate exhitibition
for the turner prize
an the work we saw there
we saw again
in some form
with in each others
work for the next few weeks

its like we all took away
the bits that interested us the most
then it reflected in our work

even just the trip to the big city
with out thinking
i started a 3d project
of making cardboard retangles
of different heights
an stood them in lines
an took photos
at a low level
making them seem huge

an it wasnt for a long time
that i realised that
that was my response to
being in a big city
with towering buildings
feeling small

but it hadnt been my aim
it was just something i was creating
for the sake of creating

but now i see it
the reasons

we are sponges
an we dont even know it