Blogging to fight boredom. Hope it works.
Hmmmm...... why am I so bored? no one is on facebook talking. Which is highly annoying yet good. In a way. I deleted loads of people not so long ago. People who I never ever ever wanted to meet up with but was talkin to them via facebook out of sheer bordom and nuffin better to do. That sounds bad but its true.
I don't find myself stressed out anymore, I dont bad mouth people anymore, like be all nice nice on status's then when I meet up with my rl friends go.. omg did you see what so an so put on facebook :O
It made me feel awful to do that. I dont like being two faced.
I was being this person that i hated. I am so glad I managed to change.
I am becoming more of a person I like. I hated myself for a while. Like if ever met myself I would loath them and what they stood for. I am now living more by my own standards I guess.
Its like on old blogs I felt like I was saying the same things again and again and getting no where. Where as the past 12 months I have been making active changes in my life and not talking about stuff so much.
I still have a way to go. But omg. The person I was 12 months ago. About to go to uni, shy, nervous, down, lonely, sad, no social life, stress.. and the person I am now. Oh man how things have changed.
:)
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
Thursday, 22 July 2010
I have a theory.
My son is 11 and he has turned from a nice helpful boy into a little lad with a bad attitude. I mean he's always had a tempter and stuff. But these days its becoming more an more often that the bad mannered rude little sod comes down the stairs. I quite frankly don't want to spend anytime with him when he is behaving like that.
His hormones are running riot and he is growing up.
My theory is that teenagers turn into these creatures that we no longer understand or want to spend time with so that we let them explore the world and become more independant. Its like natures way to force a mother to let go a little bit.
I am just glad that I taught him so much before 11 about choices and life and everything, I think if I had left it till now, then he just wouldn't listen to me and rebel against me just to spite me.
So least I know, that under all the sulky grumpy rudeness there is a level head on young shoulders. He may ignore it for a while, but the foundations are there.
We went away at the weekend. And it swung from really great to cringe worthy. It was like when we were around other people he showed off and the new teenie teen was there, but when we were alone with his sister the nice polite helpful little lad was there.
It made me see that its now time for me to be getting my own life, I don't have to feel guilty about it. Its the right time for all of us. This last year as been about setting up a routine of me being out and about and gaining confidence.
Now is the time for us to be making our own way, but still be a family and come home to each other.
No matter how much we bicker we end the day on, I love you. I think thats important.
I refuse to keep banging my head against a brick wall with them though. If they wanna come out and about with me and enjoy it, they are more than welcome to, if they wanna come and be awful and moan and whinge and show off, then sod it. I will not put up with it. I just won't take them anywhere untill they get the message that i wanna have good times not spend my life bickering.
If i wanted to spend my life bickering I still be married to their dad.
I think all I can do now is hope they have sense and strength and know right from wrong.
My son is 11 and he has turned from a nice helpful boy into a little lad with a bad attitude. I mean he's always had a tempter and stuff. But these days its becoming more an more often that the bad mannered rude little sod comes down the stairs. I quite frankly don't want to spend anytime with him when he is behaving like that.
His hormones are running riot and he is growing up.
My theory is that teenagers turn into these creatures that we no longer understand or want to spend time with so that we let them explore the world and become more independant. Its like natures way to force a mother to let go a little bit.
I am just glad that I taught him so much before 11 about choices and life and everything, I think if I had left it till now, then he just wouldn't listen to me and rebel against me just to spite me.
So least I know, that under all the sulky grumpy rudeness there is a level head on young shoulders. He may ignore it for a while, but the foundations are there.
We went away at the weekend. And it swung from really great to cringe worthy. It was like when we were around other people he showed off and the new teenie teen was there, but when we were alone with his sister the nice polite helpful little lad was there.
It made me see that its now time for me to be getting my own life, I don't have to feel guilty about it. Its the right time for all of us. This last year as been about setting up a routine of me being out and about and gaining confidence.
Now is the time for us to be making our own way, but still be a family and come home to each other.
No matter how much we bicker we end the day on, I love you. I think thats important.
I refuse to keep banging my head against a brick wall with them though. If they wanna come out and about with me and enjoy it, they are more than welcome to, if they wanna come and be awful and moan and whinge and show off, then sod it. I will not put up with it. I just won't take them anywhere untill they get the message that i wanna have good times not spend my life bickering.
If i wanted to spend my life bickering I still be married to their dad.
I think all I can do now is hope they have sense and strength and know right from wrong.
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
Thursday, 8 July 2010
Friday, 28 May 2010
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